Thursday, February 26, 2009

Please Stop the Remakes

Please Stop the Remakes

In perusing the movie-news of the day, I was driven to utter despair...

In the course of 15 minutes, scrolling from headline to headline in Google Reader, I saw more news about upcoming and potential remakes than I can count. Let me list a few just off the top of my head:







YOGI BEAR (Yogi freakin' Bear?)

Admittedly, I have no problem with some remakes like ASTRO BOY or THE GREEN HORNET. Those might be ok in the end, but TOTAL RECALL and YOGI BEAR? YOGI BEAR???? Is there really such a cult following of our favorite picnic-basket-thieving-bear that they need to modernize him? I think Hanna and Barbera nailed Yogi, Boo Boo, and Ranger Smith. You ain't gonna improve on it...just ruin it. Is it that hard to write a story about a new character that is a bear? There must be millions of untold bear-stories waiting to be written and brought to the big screen. Did not UNDERDOG teach you folks anything? Will I be hearing of TENNESSEE TUXEDO and his old pal, CHUMLEY coming in 2011? Go find a new story with new characters, please!

I must also admit that such remakes do offer a chance to revisit some classic movie and TV musical themes, but there is an equal chance that those themes could be hacked and slashed to unenjoyable bits as well...or discarded altogether. We love our classic music themes, but we also like to get introduced to new ones, too. Don't rob us of that experience.

Hollywood is going for the cheap and easy answer. They are milking the past for every penny it has left in it. For every successful remake-venture (Transformers) there are a dozen disasters (Planet of the Apes, Psycho, Bewitched, Scooby Doo, Fat Albert, Wild Wild West, Poseidon). Perhaps this isn't a bad thing, actually. If enough of these remakes bomb at the box office, perhaps...just perhaps...the studios will look at that growing stack of original screenplays and developing some new properties for moviegoers to enjoy.

So I'm begging you producers, please give the remakes a rest. If we are using movies as our escape from the desperate economic times we live in right now, we don't need to go and see poor remakes of properties we already have fond memories of. That's just pourring salt on our collective economic wound and that's just mean.

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